T-shirt love – a cautionary tale

Remember in the beginning, you loved me so much… smooth cotton surface, beautiful shape, my spectacular dye job and unblemished texture. You would run your hands all over me, on and off your body. I looked good on you. People would even say I looked good on you! You loved me so much, I got a hanger just like your dress shirts. I felt so special. We went everywhere together….the bars, shopping, the movies, casual dining. Good times!

As time went on….you started treating me poorly… aggressive soaps (rhymes with “ride” has ground feathers in it…ugh) , bleach for the unbleachables, too hot dryers. You still liked me…. but I started to lose my figure. I was a bit smaller and less shapely. My colour got duller, I just lost some of my zip. I no longer was welcome in your closet but got banished to your t-shirt drawer…. where all the dull t-shirts went, until one day they left and never came back. I could see the writing on the wall….one day your beloved, the next you are wiping the sweat off your face with me after jogging. Then what? You gonna wash the car with me? Huh?
Your wife looks at me with eyes that say “you are landfill”. With stealth, she will steal me away in a quiet moment, when you are not home….& I will never be seen again. One day you might ask where I am…she will lie and say she has no idea.

You could have saved our relationship. Oh yes you could have. The greatest gift would have been mild soap with spot cleaner. Air drying or light tumble dry. I know hanging me up is too much to ask…. no ones love is that profound. As I am printed, inside out in the washer & dryer is nice…but if you are gentle, not necessary. My white t-shirt friends have all turned yellow because you cooked them in the dryer….the yellow tinge is from burning not washing. Bleach will not save them , it breaks down the threads and makes them get holes. Aggressive soaps has also broken threads to create holes in my neck & hemming. My dye removed by the same.

Obviously, my care label meant nothing to you. You have moved onto a new t-shirt with all the qualities you desire…. your new & special t-shirt.

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